Mazatlan Tuesday: Bat Country

Next the tour bus took us to a little town called El Quelite for lunch. And so much more. Now, this is where things started getting weird. Like Hunter S Thompson bat country weird. The tour guide was going on about witches, ancient rites of the Aztecs and indiginous cannibals in the mountains. Then he asked the group, "You like cockfights?"

Everyone was taken aback. One person said haughtily, "Those are illegal in the United States. He said, "Yeah, they're illegal here too" and laughed a creepy laugh. As we passed a bullfighting ring he told us about the quail farm behind it. Animals do not fare well around here. Or to put a positive spin on it, you could say that people are eating "local". That's some seriously fresh food.

One of the main features of El Quelite is this statue. It is of an ancient game like hackey sack or soccer, but you can only use your hips to touch the ball. I hope they had ancient athletic cups.



Next we hit a panaderia, not exactly an unfamiliar sight for an Angeleno. But I had never seen an oven like this, so the visit was cool. And who doesn't love pan dulce?















There was an interesting "burnt sugar turnover. It is like blackstrap molasses. It rises so fast the sugar adheres to the pastry leaving an empty center.

Then we walked along the town.

I swear to you, I do not seek out cemetaries. They just seem to always be there. It was a few weeks after Dia de los Muertos, so everything had a fresh new coat of white paint.





As I was taking photos of the cemetary, I started hearing roosters. Oh no! He didn't! He did. The tourists all blanched, like when you have accidentally gotten yourself in way over your head. Like you are in some kind of nightmare and can't get out. The discomfort was palpable to everyone but the tour guide.

He asked, "Who wants to see a cock fight, hunh?" trying to get everyone excited. They all looked from one to the other. Half these people were probably going to eat chicken that day. Half of them were wearing leather. Really, at what point does it become hypocrisy?

He asked again, "Come on! Who wants to chicken fight???"

To lighten the mood, I said, "I'll take one on! Strap one of those knives on my feet! I'll fuck these chickens up!"

Surprisingly that did not help.







Really, it's much more humane to use the knives so it is a quick, clean kill instead of letting the chickens hack at each other in a painful, drawn-out battle to the death. But I have to admit it's kind of messed up the way he's showing off this knife so proudly.





At this point, the guide finally noticed everyone's discomfort. he started trying to defend the sport of cockfighting. He insisted the roosters love it; it's in their nature; they aren't forcing them to do anything they don't want to do. Then he actually walked over to one of the roosters and started kicking it! And that rooster went apeshit. He kicked and the rooster pecked and flapped and I thought, "I can't believe I am watching this guy fight a fucking chicken."



Finally, after everyone was sufficiently freaked out we meandered over to the restaurant for lunch. It was a bit of a tourist trap, but that meant bright and safe-feeling with clean bathrooms. The group was needing the security of colorful woven tablecloths at this point in the tour.

Meson de los Laureanos is named after Jose Laureano, a local folk hero.













The tour guide had described the local dishes to us on the tour, "Machaca, that is beef, carnitas is pork, pollo is chicken, and birria, that is beef." I looked around wide-eyed for someone to elbow, but I was the only one who knew that he was totally lying. So when I picked up the menu, I immediately checked the translations. They all described the animal, except for Birria. It said, "A Mexican specialty". As in special Mexican goats.

As usual, I was unable to choose just one dish and asked if they wouldn't mind making me a "mixed" platter. Clockwise from top right: Lamb, Goat, and Beef. They cooked it barbecue-style, then stewed it in a sauce. Mmmmmm. The lamb was a little gamey, but I loved the goat. It was not "wild" or weird or gamey. It was perfect. The beef was very good, but the birria goat, err, uhhh, "beef" was my favorite.



Since there was a quail farm nearby, we thought we would try the fresh quail. I had always heard complaints about the little bones, but it was no different than hot wings. And they were so succulent and light - not gamey, and not like chicken, better than chicken. I love quail now - at least super fresh quail.



Hmmm



On the way there and back we crossed the Tropic of cancer - my first time!

After such an eventful day, we took it easy and ordered a simple dinner from room service. Sinaloa supplies most of the tomatoes for the United States, and it really showed. It seems like they pick the fruits and vegetables closer to ripe than we do, but they also sell them a little longer than we do too, as I was to learn in the Old Town Market later in the week.





I was completely freaked out when I tried to eat my chicken soup. It took me a second to realize it had clear plastic wrap tightly wrapped around the bowl.

Mazatlan Tuesday: Tequila!

We start the morning off sensibly enough with chilaquiles from room service. Do I even need to tell you that they totally kick ass?



Even American breakfast came with chilaquiles and magic tortilla cups.



From the minute we stepped on the tour bus there was screaming from the ugly Americans – Cranky Guy was hollering that they were just gonna get off the bus and screw the whole thing if they were going to cram 2 more people in there.

I do not have good luck with tour buses.

We were driven for an hour along deserted dirt roads populated with black buzzards, vultures, crosses marking deaths in the road and homes with private backyard cemeteries.

Then it was all blue agave





After the agave is hacked up, you are left with the pina.



The pina is cooked in underground kilns.



At this point you can chew on it and extract the agave juice which is seriously addicting. Seriously. And maybe a hallucinogen. The jury is still out. But later that night this is what I wrote while chewing it:

It kind of looks like horses hooves made out of beef jerky. You chew and suck on the fibers and they release their sweet nectar. There is something light and sweet molaases and honey, masking something darker, a slight sensation of alcohol and sex in a smoky room. I wasn;t paying too much attention to what the tour guide was saying at this point, but it wasn;t rae agave pina. Later I asked if I could take some with me, which appeared to be an unusual request. They said to be careful with it so it wouldn’t spoil or ferment. So what I have is definitely not fermented. I wonder if I can get it through customs, or if the bees trailing my bags will be a dead giveaway.



I tried to take pictures following the pipes so my friends back home could follow the process, but I kept getting disctracted by scary machinery and things on fire

At first I thought this was some kind of torture device. But then my brother explained to me that it was part of a pulley system to power this torture device with teeth that you can see in the videos above.



I liked this cog for no special reason.



I still don't know what this is



Production:













And what happens in this room?



Oh, sorry, mister



Then it was time to drink



The horses had big dents in their heads that kind of freaked me out



The factory owner stuck his thumb in it to show me it was OK



Now there goes a real cowboy



Back through the agave fields. On the trip there, the guide told us about the local flora and fauna, and how the state of Jalisco had a copyright on the word tequila, so it's kind of like Champagne. But on the way back, maybe the tequila had gotten to him. He started telling long stories about cannibals and brujas. This is a plant brujas use to dry up your brain.



Woman on tour to husband: what's a brujas?
Husand: You know honey, a brewhaus, like those German places where they sell beer