Vancouver: The Elbow Room

The last time I was in Vancouver, I had so much fun with the Elbow Room's wacky waitstaff I had to go back. Plus, my nephew is a burger fan and they make what is known as the best burger in Van.



The elbow room is a local institution at 560 Davie Street, a cute little cafe that is sparse but comfy. The real attraction, besides the food is the amazing staff that you can't help but love.

The Elbow Room was started in 1983 by Patrick Savoie, an ex-teacher and Brian Searle, an insurance adjuster. It's original location, at 720 Jervis Street, was located in the first mayor of Vancouver's house, and was declared a heritage building. At first Bryan did dishes and Patrick cooked. We had one employee, Vera McKee, who waited tables...We now have 52 seats, a staff of 10-12 and abusing customers from all over Canada, the US and the world.

They do have some crazy-ass burgers. Check these out

Tom Select Burger
Topped with bacon, pineapple, peach slices and camembert cheese.

Trucker Burger
Mushroom, baby shrimp, bacon avocado, a fried egg and cheddar cheese

The Chad Lowe
(For the meat lover, a.k.a. ' The F ' ing Kidding Burger ' )
Two 8 oz patties, sautéed mushrooms and red onions, bacon, pepperoni, B.B.Q. and HP sauce.

But being the princess I am, I ordered

Princess Burger
Bacon, sliced avocado, feta and camembert cheese.



Thick, juicy, feta-y...truly a great burger. We also split an amazing fresh banana-blueberry shake



We had room to split one more thing. Now, if you don't finish your food at The Elbow Room you get a spanking. You can sometimes talk them into accepting a donation to A Loving Spoonful, but they really do try for that spanking. One way to avoid a spanking is to bring a college boy because 1. They can finish any plate of food 2. They are more tempting spanking bait 3. They are probably used to that kind of thing what with the hazing and such. OK here is a sample of the menu. Guess which treat we ordered?

A. Savoury Pancake
Bacon, Cheese, Sausage or a Combination

B. Banana Walnut French Toast (No Jenny Craig here)
Made with pound cake. It's delicious and very rich.
Add Bacon, Sausage or Ham? $2.75
Add Blackberries,Blueberries,Strawberries,Banana,or Raspberries $2.00

C. Evelyn Hilderbrant
A large cinnamon bun, grilled as French toast.

D. Administrative Assistant
Banana, green apple slices, and orange wedges, with a blueberry yogurt and Muffin (cranberry bran or Blueberry Peach). No eggs. No meat. Nothing to clog your precious arteries.

That is correct, sir! C - a French-toasted cinnamon bun. Woohoo! Halfway through our burger, we were confronted by our wild-haired waitress, "What's the matter with your french toast?"

"Nothing. We're eating in courses."

"Yeah, that's our dessert."

"Ohhh dessert! Well, dessert!" She ran off and returned with a giant can of Reddi-whip. "Now it's dessert!"

Day 1: Saturday Vancouver

OK, first of all let me warn all of you that this is my computer set-up right now. So forgive the spelling errors.



The flight, customs, everything went smoothly. Our room at what looked to be a cheesy Holiday Inn rocked - it was a suite, and we were right in the center of the gay neighborhood! Yay! Good food, safe, clean streets, and it is always easy to find a place to buy condoms! Gay gentrification is good for EVERYBODY.

I was kind of dazed from only 30 minutes' sleep on the plane after 48 hours awake, and didn't feel like wandering around just to check things out. So I let my mom and her 2 neighbors, Ralph and Mary Ann, take off and I jumped on the internet. Soon I had a promising destination - The Elbow Room, known as the best burger in Vancouver...and it was only a few blocks away!



You could tell immediately that this was not your average diner. The waitstaff are known for "abuse". But it's more like teasing, which made me feel right at home in a strange city. It was around noon, so I could go either way on breakfast or lunch. There was a risque-sounding 12-inch pancake but I REALLY wanted the burger. Arghhh. Maybe I could just order both and pick at them.



Not at this place. My server said, "No way can you even take 12 inches. I'm bringing you the 6-inch pancake."

I argued, "I want the 12 INCH AND the hamburger!

That was too much! I had crossed the line!

He said, "Oh, I get it, you're being BAD. We have a BAD girl over here! Maybe you need a spanking! Do you need a spanking?"

What? What kind of place had I walked into? Soon he had a wild, red-headed cohort with a mysterious Eastern European accent backing him up, "Does she need a spanking?"

By now I was in fits of giggles and couldn't even talk. I was just going to eat whatever the hell they brought me. And like it, if I knew what was good for me. Well they were NOT kidding about the pancake. It was light and airy, dotted with fresh raspberries and blueberries, but I probably ate one fourth.



If you don't finish your meal at the Elbow Room, there is a mandatory fine. I donated a few toonies to their local version of "Angel Food" and escaped corporal punishment.