Monday, April 20, 2009

New Orleans Friday: Arrrrrrr

Then we changed and headed straight out to meet the local Pyrates at where else?

We kind of missed the parade part, but met a lot of cool people

Including some hot chicks

This was the keg for some club. I forget what the name was other than it involved alliteration. They run and drink. It's like a jogging/running group that pulls their beer along with them. They say the only casualty ever was a dog who wore out and had to be taken home.

This car was badass.

I was supposed to meet a friend of mine, but we could never manage to be in the same place at the same time. I don't remember that much of this night. I made friends with one of her fellow derby queens, who I believe was named Scarlette Fever, and their announcer, Skip Foreplay.

They had a free crawfish boil, just remember to tip the cook. They had all kinds of fun things in their boil, even mushrooms. It was spicy without getting mushy.

Real women suck the heads

Then things got a little wild

Saturday, April 18, 2009

New Orleans Friday: I'm a Hungry Lady

We knew that Friday we would be attending a big Pyrate Parade. What we didn't realize was that it was part of a larger Pyrate Festival. From the first moment the elevator doors opened in or hotel it was stuffed with pirates until it was time to check out.

We went down to the Riverwalk to eat at Mike Anderson's. Their catfish fingers and red beans and rice are memorable enough to brave the wall. It was a holiday, so a little slushy rum drink was a good breakfast option.

The red beans and rice were as good as I remember, but the catfish fingers aren't quite as good as the old Bourbon Street location.

we were still a little hungry, so we checked out Messina's. The temptation was great, but I did not steal the display food.

I love stuffed crab, which is almost like crab meatloaf. It differs from crab cakes by the addition of massive amounts of melted butter and milk. You often see it served in the crab's shell or a tin version of the shell. But I like it in a po'boy. It didn't hold up to Felix's version, but it was still damn good.

We wandered in and out of the shops, and in one store I found my perfect lipstick. The women reading this blog will understand what a magical moment that is. But they were all out. Well they searched under the counters, and in the stockroom and under every rock. This counter girl was dedicated. Finally tired of searching, I bought another color. I asked her, "What would happen if the tester fell behind the counter?"

She said, "Well, we have ghosts you know. All kinds of strange things happen in this store." So I switched caps on the lipsticks and became the lipstick phantom of New Orleans. I wore it this morning and it still looks fantastic on me.

At the fudge counter, I was heartened to see that the market cries of old are not extinct, although they may have gotten a little update:

We picked up some chocolate with walnuts and Praline fudge for later.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Superhero Factory

OK, What does this have to do with food? Not much, other than the fact that one of the weapons is a spork. As tempted as I was to give my superhero persona a bag of groceries, she just looked right with a cross bow. Fighting bad meals and rude waiters across the universe!!!!

Make your own at The Superhero factory

Monday, April 6, 2009

New Orleans Thursday: Poydras is my Favorite Street

OK when we decided to go econo for the first part of this trip, I chose our room based on its proximity to Mother's. When I woke up at the crack of noon, that was our first stop for po'boys.

Kristina, I'm sorry, but I went for the pure debris instead of the ferdi (ham and debris). You know when you cook a roast for a long time, then cut it, then leave it in the oven to heat up, you start to accumulate little bits of meat at the bottom of the pan? That, my friends, is debris. One of the finest foods known to man. It comes soaked in the pan juices too, and is guaranteed to soak through the bottom of the bread

So I have developed the habit of flipping the bread over and eating the debris or Ferdi po'boy upside down.

We also got grits and a po'boy burtsing with deep-fried jewels of shrimp.

We headed down to the Mississipi to check out the aquarium, but we were running late and instead went to an underwater 3-D movie at the IMAX. Because underwater IMAX is badass.

That evening we walked across the street to another Nawlins classic, the Bon Ton Cafe. There was a slight wait, so we chatted with the super-cool bartender. Later he came by our table and allowed me to snap a photograph of him. Only later in the meal did I realize that we had been hanging out with the owner, Wayne Pierce. Amazingly, Shalai, the same waitress as Kristina and I had befriended on the Ash Wednesday during my trip there four years ago served us again. Even more amazingly, she remembered us and pointed out the table where we had been sitting!



We absolutely had to order the crab gratin. It's one of those dishes that you dream about as your plane lands. Like as soon as you think, "I'm going to New Orleans" your second thought will be, "I'm getting the crab gratin!" The thumb-sized crab hunks in a rich creamy sauce were begging to be eaten on crusts bread.

For dinner we split the T-Bone in a cabernet sauce. OK, most people go to the Bon Ton and to New Orleans for seafood. But I am telling you, that was one of the best steaks I have ever had in my entire life. Hang on everybody, I've got to click over to Expedia again right now!

For dessert we shared the classic bread pudding. It tastes like they just pour pure uncooked whiskey over the top. It is definitely not something one person can handle. In fact, this entire meal was a team effort!


1 loaf French bread
1 quart milk
3 eggs
2 cups sugar
2 tbsp vanilla
3 tbsp margarine
1 cup raisins

Soak bread in milk; crush with hands till well mixed.
Then add eggs, sugar, vanilla and raisins and stir
well. Pour margarine in bottom of thick pan and bake
until very firm. Let cool; tnen cube pudding and put
in individual dessert dish; when ready to serve, add
sauce and heat under broiler. Serve with Whiskey

Whiskey Sauce

1 stick of margarine
1 cup sugar
1 egg

Melt margarine. Cream the sugar and egg until well mixed. Add melted
margarine and continue to dissolve. Add whiskey to
taste which should make sauce creamy smooth

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Food Crime: Pork and Beans

Man allegedly stabs brother over pork and beans

According to Associated Press, a 54-year-old man stabbed his 63-year-old brother during an argument over a can of pork and beans. The 54 year-old stabbed his brother in the left arm and shoulder blade after his brother threw a punch at him. The two brothers had been drinking - shocker.

The Sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Chadwick said the suspect was booked Tuesday on one count of aggravated battery.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Peanut Butter Burger

Next to the tourist favorite, Pat O'Briens, the inconspicuous storefront of Yo Mama's on St Peters is easily overlooked. The worn bar and comfortable wooden booths of this French Quarter institution make you feel like a local. The friendly servers, especially Leyla, reminded me of one of the reasons I love New Orleans. Even if you are not a local, you treated as if you were at least a regular.

The menu is mainly burgers, with a few hot sandwiches and salads. All of their burgers are 1/2 pounders and run about ten bucks. There is a quarter pound burger for 5.75 and a mega one pound burger for 13.75. I like foods with the word mega in the name. We were immediately excited by burger #8

Peanut Butter Burger with baked potato or side salad. Top your burger with peanut butter and bacon

Before you freak out, think about it. It has already been established that bacon and peanut butter are an odd but successful pairing. And you've had beef satay with peanut butter sauce, haven't you? You know I ordered it. And it was fantastic!!! I ordered my burger medium, so the peanut butter didn't melt and caramelize around the burger the way Leyla said it does on her well-done burger. Covered with a mountain of chopped smoky bacon, it is one of the best burgers in the world.

The huge fully loaded baked potato will also be popping up in my carb-laden fantasies as I go back to a sensible diet.

Other burgers on the menu that piqued our curiosity are the "Bullfighter"

Topped with avocado, jalapenos and salsa

and the "Burger Romanoff"

Sour cream and caviar make this very rich

Umm I have a note on the menu that this is Tim and Leyla, then there are a bunch of chicken sorry third guy, I don't have your name. It appears I wrote "Smarp up Pither A ! 3" and that just can't be right.

Friday, April 3, 2009

New Orleans Wed: Fly High and Proud

Wednesday our flight out of Burbank was delayed, which meant that we would be missing our connection in Dallas. After much furious typing on behalf of the counterperson, we were put on a different airline, and scored by getting bulkhead seats. In Dallas, it looked like the usual fast food stuff. We asked for BBQ and were directed to Dickey's. It was like 20 gates away, but when it's Texas BBQ vs. Wendy's no distance is too far.

The other meats on the sampler platter were alright, but the brisket was oustanding. For sure get the brisket. I also loved the potato salad, which was kind of a surprise - I don't usually like potato salad made with mustard and vinegar.

We got into New Orleans at 11pm, and it was midnight by the time we got into town. We checked into the Parc St Charles, which I booked for its low price of 69. a night and its proximity to Mothers. I could swear the desk clerk was on speed, or at least about 6 red Bulls. The room was decent, with a few touches of weird. At least it was quiet.

Our usual late-night place is Jumani, where we go for ass-pork sandwiches. If I may digress for a moment, I will tell you the story of the ass-pork sandwich. Delicate ears need read no further. The first time I ate at Jumani, it was on the recommendation of a cab driver. It was very late at night, or very early in the morning, depending on your perspective. On that first visit, we ordered pulled pork sandwiches. While we waited, I asked a patron if I could sit on the empty barstool next to him. He looked at me as if I had just suddenly appeared out of thin air, and he could do nothing but blink uncomfortably at me.

I looked around and I noticed that I was the only woman in the bar. I looked up at the TV and I saw a screenful of BARE NAKED ASSES. It was some kind of home video shot outdoors in a large crowd, comprised of nothing but naked ass after naked ass. In retrospect, it was probably a “Girls Gone Wild Mardi Gras Ass Fest,” but I was still innocent of such things at the time. I’m not a prude, but those asses weren’t just playfully wiggling. Those asses were up to no good.

I asked for our sandwiches “to go”. The aggravated bartender groused, “Why didn’t you tell me they were ‘to go’ before I started making them?!” I replied, “ Because I just now decided that I prefer my pork without so much ass on the side.” Well, as it turned out, those were the best damn pulled pork sandwiches we have ever had outside of Tennessee. We have returned to Jumani time and time again, willing to brave homemade porn just to get to those sandwiches.

I asked the taxi driver to wait while I scoped it out since it is also inbetween two of the skeeviest strip joints off Bourbon street. Ass pork was no longer on the menu, and the place was full of strung-out strippers so followed the advice we got from the doorperson at the Hilton and hit "Yo Mama" for burgers.