Central CA: Nipomo by the Sea

As long as I was taking the long way home, I thought I might as well visit my brother, Johnny, who was hosting a BBQ at the local bar. But first I had to make a stop at the traveler's mecca of strange - The Madonna Inn. I loved coming here as a child, with the profusion of giant pink pastries, and carousel bar.





Even something as simple as an iced tea to go gets a little touch of whimsy with a rock candy stirrer to sweeten the tea.



Their dining room is a trip, centered around a gigantic gold tree with Pepto-Bismol pink booths. I considered getting married here, but they were really uptight about noise and curfews so I knew that was not for my family.

The rooms are all themed, the "caveman room" being the most popular. There are a lot of rock-themed rooms. Some of them are just lime green from top to bottom. Seriously creepy. And the names are usually unrelated to the themes, which most often seem to be "made over basement" or "staying in Uncle Al's guest room in the basement"

Check out the rooms

These are a few of the most amazing ones

Blue much?

Seriously?

Do not take acid and stay in this room

For the 12-year old Brady in you

Krazy Daisy..the names are getting more appropriate

Just look at this ceiling

OK I can't stand it any more

They even have a little tiny bathroom especially for little girls. The boys bathroom has a trough, and another men's room has a waterfall.





I picked up a pastry for Johnny and headed over to the Nipomo Saloon. Yeah, this is the kind of town where you have the Nipomo barbershop, the Nipomo Foot Clinic, and Nipomo Sushi all in a row.



I arrived too late for the BBQ and missed out on Johnny's tri-tip. Luckily the Saloon is right across the street from Jocko's. Jocko's is the only reason some people even know Nipomo exists. The bartender called me in an order and when I got there I discovered a steak and garlic bread cut into little bites and stuck with frilly toothpicks like at a cocktail party. They were down with the saloon.





So I was also behind everyone on the drinking. Beer was flowing, a super loud ragtag band of sorts was playing, and the guy who points in the air was pointing.



Even when sitting he can't stop pointing. It's the rock and roll that does it. Or whatever's on tap.



It's pretty contagious



The golden sun looked beautiful on the hay. I know, I have a brother who lives where they sell hay! It must be in our blood. It just makes me want to point my fingers in the air!

Brookside: The Going Gets Weird

OK. So the day after The festival was a Sunday. I had decided somewhere during my hellride up the 5 to take the 101 home. I woke up early and thought I would hit brunch near Santa Cruz. There was a nice restaurant at a group of upscale cabins in the hills I had been to several times. It offers a slammin' brunch. It was the first place I ever ate ganache. So you understand it has a deep and profound meaning to me. I remembered the cabins/hotel used to be a monastary so I got on the laptop and started searching.

So this is the place I was trying to find. Looks nice, doesn't it? I started driving and driving and driving. I wove through the hills until I was in the Redwoods. This couldn't be right. So I find the address and I was definitely in the wrong place. I ended up here.





The Brookdale Lodge is famously haunted by the ghost of a little girl named Sarah who supposedly drowned in the brook that runs through the center of the restaurant. Food is so much better when enhanced by the tragic death of children.

More on the haunted lodge



How to even describe this place? It was as if it had been built in many different stages during different eras. There was some attempt to make it into an alpine fairy tale inside of a castle inside of an abandoned church.



The bar seemed like a good place to get into a fight with a biker and the bathroom seemed like a good place to shoot heroin. I can't imagine staying here overnight. Then in the middle of haunted Alpine Village, there was an ernormous fading art deco light that looked to have been salvaged from the Titanic.



So the buffet was in a room even dimmer than this one. Nothing whets the appetite like dark, creepy buffets. My biscuits and gravy were ice cold, which sucked, and I was none to impressed with their special chicken and dumplings. Of course, I like fluffy dumplings, not Pennsylvani-style rolled dumplings.



But the omelette! Jesus Christ, that was one of the best omelettes I have ever had in my life. If you are ever randomly in this part of town, it's worth it for the acid trip and the omelette.



The pasta was also handmade and delicious.







Throwing fish to the trout in the pond. President Hoover fished in the pond when the water used to be higher

Great Food and Music 2

It was also an incredibly hot day, so I was very grateful for the press tent. Someone had the great idea to set up a backstage area for press and bring in food so that we could photograph and taste it without waiting in the crazy lines.

Pink's loves writing on their hot dogs







Bagel and lox from Barney Greengrass



After awhile the band backstage hosted a "meet and greet" and all of those people swarmed into the press tent and started eating all of the food. I was lucky enough to get the next-to-last slice of Juniors cheesecake. Pure heaven.



This banner was on the wall. If you sponsored the press tent, Foodbuzz, I love you!



But I couldn't hang out in the tent all day. Bobby Flay taught us how to make the perfect burger. He was the king of gestures.





Marshall Crenshaw was playing





I had to check out the wine tent, though I couldn't drink since I didn't have a designated driver.

The nice people at J Moss





Maybe just one beer



But I was really excited to find the dessert area. Charles Chocolates: the Perfect S'more







I met Tony Luke, who was supercool, telling me all of the restaurants I should hit on my upcoming trip to Philly. When he found out I hadn't got a photo one of his cheesesteaks, he sent me with his co-worker into the back of their booth to get pictures of them cooking a steak sandwich.



Where it all starts





After making the sandwich and holding it out for pictures, the guy said, "You want it or not?" I asked then to wrap it up so the people in line didn;t rise up as one and slay me. Later that night in my room, a movie and that sandwich made for a fantastic night.

Great Food and Music Fest Part 1

After a somewhat harried trip up the 5, I finally found my hotel behind an alley after driving around for what seemed like forever. It was kind of deserted, but I was shown to my room by a chatty bellhop. He said, "You're here for the Food festival? You know Anthony Bourdain stayed here when he was filming and watched porn all night long. You should have seen his bill!" Hmmm. I must admit the rooms are stimulating, with their funky chairs and profusion of velour.



The next morning I was all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for some serious grub. Saturday promised to be a gorgeous day of music, cooking demos, live music and feasting. Unfortunately, the best laid plans...There was a line. The line stretched for blocks and blocks and blocks. Seriously, the line was like a mile long. I pulled the press privilege and went in the side. I don't get paid, there has to be a little perk now and then. I think I would have turned around and driven all the way back to LA if I had to stand in that line.



The first restaurant I hit was South Side BBQ but the payment system was all wacked. You got a bracelet onto which you charged money. Vendors swiped the bracelet and it deducted the money. But my bracelet wouldn't work. I went up to the front and it was a madhouse. None of the bracelets worked. Volunteers feverishly messed with electronic card readers as the crowd grew more and more agitated. I returned to to apologize, and they just gave me the BBQ (LOVE you, South Side !!!)



The anticipated crowd of 2,000 people quickly grew to 8,000. With only 20-something booths, it was a recipe for disaster. Waits to get in to the festival were over an hour and waits in line for food averaged 45 minutes.

Many people blamed insufficient supplies, but it seemed to be more of a matter of distribution. The only items that ran out were pastrami and cheesecake. If there had been more counters around the event, like three Anchor hot wings stands, and sufficient staff for the additional booths, the waits might not have been such an issue. Another ten vendors or so would have helped too. Foodie paradises like New Orleans and Chicago were underrepresented.

Still, those who chose to make the best of it had fun anyways. People made new friends in line, shared food with each other, and were treated to some great demos and music. Hopefully next year the kinks will be worked out, and as Ed put it so well in his official apology, ""If you could find it in your hearts to think of this as our first pancake, that would be great."

There wasn't much to do about food until they figured out the bracelet problem (they eventually dumped the idea altogether). They had 2 stages - a small stage for food demos, and another for a concert, a burger cookoff and "big name" food demos.

Ed Levine, in a kind of amusing pose.



Anne Burrell



The lines were crazy





These nice girls were waiting near the front of the line



And they were nice enough to get me a sandwich and wings. I know, I'm a terrible, terrible person. But you would have done the same. God, that sandwich was so good, even if obtained by evil means. These wings were amazing.



People loooove Guy Fieri and he really brought some energy to the event. He was playful with the audience, pretending to squirt kids and really interacting with them.





They seriously love him



They want to MARRY him