Vancouver: Ricky's

We did stop at a chain diner for breakfast. Ricky's diner has "evolved into one of Western Canada's premiere, mid-scale family restaurants. And we've achieved this by offering a delectably impressive menu selection in a comfortably modern environment..."



I had to try the breakfast of 3 eggs, 7 perogies and Bavarian sausage with toast. Bavarian sausage is kind of like Polish sausage. The perogies were really delicious for a chain. Perogies are seriously underrated, The Southland needs a really good perogie place.



I think my nephew got "The Works" omelette - Ham, Portobello and button mushrooms, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions and 3 cheeses, topped with a slice of bacon



No one went for the super-Canadian "benny" their version of an eggs benedict. Back bacon, eh? "With two strips of maple bacon and sliced tomato" It should come with a Molsons.

The Meat Shop

The trip back over the border was unremarkable, except for happening upon the Meat Shop, which totally blew my mind. It was conveniently located next to the tanning salon. Wrong kind of meat.

Vancouver: Wasabi Ice Cream

When I like something I cannot get enough of it. So after finding out that there was a shop serving wasabi gelato I was all over it. La Casa Gelato serves over 200 flavors of gelato, and has been for 20 years. They actually have over 500 flavors, but keep 218 in rotation at all times. They started out in 1982 serving pizza and ice cream, but soon focused solely on gelato. Owner Vince Misceo insists on real eggs, cream, and "no air".



They are ready with ample sample spoons. As the owner acknowledges, they bring customers in with the wasabi and sell them the chocolate. The unusual flavors tend to go wayyyy out there. Corn, vinegar, radicchio, blue cheese, and dandelion just to name a few. The curry ice cream was hot enough to leave a burning sensation on my tongue. Way more than the wasabi did. But strawberry-jalapeno is the only one that tore my face right off.



In addition to spicy and savory flavors, La Casa Gelato has a huge selection of Asian flavors, including many fruits you have never seen in this form before. Lychee, starfruit, red bean, taro, jackfruit, black bean, Oh, and I LOVE durian, which my nephew thinks is insane. It tastes a little like skunk, and a little like the scent they add to natural gas. But lurking under all of that weirdness is the most delicious, dark, satisfying flavor. There is a reason people eat it.



I ended up getting a double cone of lavendar and Hedgehog.





Oh, and you can get ice cream cakes! I can't wait for my wasabi birthday cake!



PS I just had to include this shot

Vancouver: Obey Jonathan Gold at any Cost

Whenever I visit an aquarium they always have a gigantic King Crab. Part of me is standing there thinking about the wonders of nature, and part of me is thinking, "If not for these guards, buddy, it would be you, me, and a pound of melted butter.

When I sent out a general Facebook request for Vancouver restaurant suggestions, none other than Jonathan Gold recommended Sun Sui Wah. Now, that is a recommendation to heed. If Jonathan Gold picked something up off the sidewalk and told me to eat it I probably would - no matter what Lux Interior said.



Sun Sui Wah started out in Hong Kong and became famous there for their squab. During the 80s they opened up two locations in Canada - one in Vancouver, and one in Richmond. The restaurant is set up for banquet facilities with a bride's changing room, and as the website says, "A party of twenty! No problem!"

When we arrived at the restaurant, they were indeed hosting a wedding reception. We had to park a few blocks away since the ample parking was taken up by wedding guests.



The bride in red



At this point my mom was ready to bail. But they offered us a corner crammed up against the seafood tanks, and Justin was down for the adventure. I was tempted to ask them to just bring us the same food as the wedding guests.





But the thing to have here is the Alaska King Crab.

Alaska King Crab
Indigenous to the deep clear waters of Alaska and free from pollutants, the Alaska King Crab is truly King of the sea with tender juicy sweet meat.

Following my family's Chinese restaurant tradition, everyone at the table gets to order one dish. My mom ordered chicken/lettuce wraps (Ants Climbing Tree), which was a familiar and comforting dish. But I was saving my appetite.



and my nephew ordered the squab.

The Famous Roasted Squab
The famous roasted squab, a signature dish marinated with a secret blend of seasoning and spices to bring out the best flavors, roasted till crispy with tender juiced meat. One taste and it becomes habit forming. Although the squab is a delicacy more familiar to the Asian culture, now everyone is discovering its' delicious taste and health values.

I split the squab with him. The skin was crispy and laquered, the meat was juicy and tender without the gaminess I had expected.



Really, we should have only ordered one thing. It was an insane amount of food. But damn it, I was there to have crab and God help me I was gonna have crab. I asked for the smallest crab. They brought a live one out for our inspection, and in spite of it frightening nearby diners, I nodded my approval.

My nephew warned, "Ummmm....auntie...." because he knew how much meat was in that monster. I had no idea. I had eaten 8 crab legs in one sitting before at the local crab shack, so this would be easy. And dammit, a Pulitzer Prize winner wanted me to eat this crab! If Gabriel Garcia-Marquez wanted me to eat this crab, who would I be to question him?



They offered me the crab two ways, so I chose steamed with garlic and cooked with curry. By now my mom was practically rolling her eyes at the insanity. But I was on a mission - a crab mission.

Try to imagine the most delicious seafood you have ever tasted - fresh, intense and clean. Now multiply it by a thousand. The first course was not as buttery as I expected, and the garlic was intense, but the meat was so sweet, so succulent...the perfect crab. I must admit, the crab legs seemed endless - each leg was split into four, and it became a test of fortitude.



When the second course of curried crab arrived, my nephew just shook his head. I was on my own. The creamy, rich sauce was a nice follow-up to the intense garlic. It was smooth and flavorful. My mom stared at me with a mixture of disapproval and horror.



When the bill arrived, I snatched it up as fast as I could. As we left, my mom muttered, "That crab probably cost you 200 dollars." When I got the credit card bill in USD, it came out to 80 dollars. And it was worth every cent.

Vancouver Friday and Sat: Family

I have always loved visiting Granville Island ever since my Auntie Heather used to haul Starbucks coffee beans across the border to sell in her little coffee store. It also helped that she sold Smarties by weight and had a barrel of Smarties in the shop. I was excited to show Justin the cool warehouse market, which was similar to Pike Place.

Unfortunately, Granville Island has expanded ridiculously. I heard that inside the warehouse, it is still a cool mix of bakeries and fish markets, but we never made it that far. Parking was impossible, and the whole area was a mass of cheap gift shops and chain restaurants ala TG McFunsters. We gave up - so much for butter tarts.

We had a nice dinner at Aunt Heather's. She cooked enough for 3 meals. I was polite and did not photograph at the dinner table.



Saturday we had a small family reunion. My mom had 14 brothers and sisters, so I have 72 first cousins on her side. This was definitely a small get-together. My mom's sister came down from north Vancouver Island and her brother came from Kelowna. We had a nice lunch in the hotel restaurant by the harbour.

It was your typical American/Canadian fare - salads, sliders, burgers.



Most of the family ordered the taco salad



I did get into the ahi sliders, mostly because of the wasabi mayonnaise. I am seriously obsessed with wasabi.



Really, people go to unbelievable lengths to humor me and my food photography



Sticky Toffee Pudding, one of the wonders of British colonies



This is a gooseberry



As I was changing out lenses, a cousin impulsively hugged me, and my lens went flying. What is up with Canada and my camera lenses? Canada hates my camera! I was so traumatized I didn't go out partying with my cousin's women's hockey team that night. And that's not a drinking party to miss.



My Uncle Pat was a prison guard, and scared the hell out of us growing up. I don't think I saw him smile until I was in my 20s. He does have a nice smile.



The three closest siblings, Auntie Loretta, Uncle John and Mom



My Auntie Loretta is an amazing cook. I have been making her recipes for years.

AUNTIE LORETTA'S MACARONI SALAD

2 cups macaroni
1/2 cup diced ham
1/2 cup diced cheddar cheese
1 stalk celery, diced
2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1.2 teaspoon black pepper

(she adds 1/2 green pepper, diced and 1 teaspoon salt, which I leave out. The ham makes it salty enough for me)

Cook macaroni in saled water for 7 minutes. Drain. Run cold water over macaroni until it is cold.

Mix remaining ingredients into macaroni. Add more mayonnaise as desired.

Allow flavors to blend several hours before serving.

Oh Canada! Saturday: In Which Musical Theater Nearly Does Me In

Saturday my mom and I went to Niagara Helicopters Limited, but the copters were grounded due to inclement weather.



On the way back, we passed by the Evel Knievel Daredevil Museum. My cousin said, “I suppose you want to stop there.” Are you kidding me? It was also a thrift store – score! 15 dollars poorer, one funny sign and crazy hat later, we were back on the road.

I don't know what any of this has to do with Evel Knievel. But it was behind a velvet rope.



The camel toe wouldn't fit in my luggage



We passed a cool motel that looked EXACTLY like the motel from Psycho. If I hadn't seen the real Psycho set, I'd swear that's where they filmed it. So when we counted heads and came up one bed short, I volunteered to stay at the Bates Motel. I wanted to take pictures inside the room. No one would let me stay there, something about drugs and hookers. So they found me a room at the Old Stone Inn.





That night we had tickets to “Oh Canada, Eh!” It was an unfortunate pick - probably my worst case of bad judgement this trip. I had heard the food was actually good, and it looked like it was going to be kitschy in a cool, drag-queen kind of way.

Instead it was a theme restaurant, like Medieval Times. Imagine Bear Country Jamboree meets Waiting for Guffman. Along with cheesy acting and the anticipated stereotypes (they even had a "newfie"), the hypercheerful music was unrelenting. The French Canadian accents were just painful. How in the hell did they manage that? You can't throw a rock in Ontario without hitting someone with a real French Canadian accent.



For dinner there was a watery pea soup and mediocre salad that they comically cleared while I was still eating it. I just poked at everything else - a platter of mixed Canadian food – fried fish that wasn’t so bad, chicken, some of the worst beef ever, and I forget what else. Maybe I will recover the memory in therapy. You may wonder where the food photos are - well, I had a broken lens that wouldn't focus on anything within 3 feet of me - be grateful.

At the end of the meal, they offered “Squirrel cake” Squirrel cake? Really? Although I'm sure my ancestors probably did eat squirrel, I must have heard them wrong. It was swirl cake. Chocolate and maple. Yeah, maple. The most intense, awful, maple badness ever. We all tried to be subtle as we spit it out. I wish it was squirrel cake.

It was kind of a relief when they cleared the dessert dishes, since it meant that the show was almost over. Not so fast, Missy. It went on and on and on. I went outside and started making phone calls during the Gordon Lightfoot tribute.

Keeping with the Psycho theme, there was some appetizing taxidermy on the walls.



The room at the Old Stone Inn was beautiful. Definitely a nice place to stay in Niagara Falls. It was right near a party row. Hunger and lots of people yelling wooohoooh drew me out of my room. Especially since my plan to get drugs and hookers at the Bates Motel had been thwarted.

Hello? Halal Indian Food and Evil Psycho Clown. May I help you?



I happened upon this place. It was too good to be true. An Indian buffet open til midnight? Score. As I stood there considering my choices, one of the waiters approached me, “You are so beautiful. I will make you anything you want – special.” Amongst my many superpowers, I seem to have the strange ability to mesmerize East Indian men. Friends who have witnessed this power in action attribute it to my red hair. Others think it has something to do with my breasts.

"How about a garlic naan?"
“Anything for you!”
“OK, then, TWO garlic naan!”





When you are a lone traveler, the desk clerk is your best friend. The clerk at the Inn was so sweet, when he saw my take-out bag he took my food in the back and put it on covered plates with real silver as if I had ordered it from room service. So I curled up for the night with a 10.99 movie and my riches of naan. Swank.

Ontario does love its phallic symbols

Oh Canada! Friday Night: April Wine and May Poutine

At the Springilicious Festival in Niagara Falls, Ontario, we met up with my cousin's work friends and started drinking. One friend introduced himself to me by saying, “Hi. I’m John. I play bass.” (Did I mention that I play guitar?”)

I had to come back with, “Did you hear about the drummer who locked himself in the van?”

“No”

“It took the bass player an hour to get him out.”

“Why?”

One drawback to my dawdling in Buffalo was that by the time it occurred to me to check out the food most of the booths were closing up. The Haitian booth was still open. The lady at the booth was shy about my camera, but I flattered her and then showed her the picture and offered to erase it of she didn’t like it. She blushed charmingly and waved me away.



I thought I ordered a curried chicken, but ended up with some kind of fritter and fried plantains.



After a short break to eat the mystery fritter, I stood up and picked up my bag, and the camera just flew out, end over end, smashing into the concrete. It didn't happen in slow motion, as dramatic as that would have been. Luckily, I was hanging out with techie-minded engineers who physically forced the lens back in. I now was forced to shoot in Manual mode for the first time ever.

As a result, the rest of the pictures in this series are going to be compromised as I am forced to learn Manual mode. The photos are all wacky as I am often unaware that the setting is off and cannot make the broken lens focus on anything less than 3 feet away. Later, back in LA when I had to cough up for a new lens, they sold me a lens filter to try and counteract my cavalier attitude towards my gear. The woman added, "The cover has UV protection too, so that's good."

I asked, "So I don't get cancer in that one eye?"

She just stared at me, like, "How do you even walk around without hurting yourself?"

Sad as I was about the camera, ice cream makes everything better. The gelato booth even had nougat, an uncommon flavor and definitely better than chocolate.



When I had heard that April Wine was playing, the name sounded so familiar, but I didn’t know any of their songs offhand. I had thought it would be like Jethro Tull or Lord Sutch. It turned out to be more of a hair band, like bands that pronounce "higher" as "Hiyaaahhh" . I asked one of the guys when I should expect the power ballad.

“Probably any time now."

"How many times do they say the word 'lady'?"

“This isn’t Styx.'

"I know. But it’s the third law of the power ballad that it must include the word 'lady'"



So I was really gratified to hear this song. So gratified I had to go find that guy and point at the stage and raise my eyebrows at him. Because I am such a lady. Or could have been.

Could have been alright, could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
I could have been alright, I could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady

It's disturbingly catchy.

"I could have been allllriiiight...could have been here toniiiiight...could have been sweet as wiiiine....you could have been a ladyyyyy."

In fact it kind of reminded me of my favorite song from The Office.

"...so wrong so right all night, alright, oh yeah. Oh yeah"



We stopped off for drunk food at Somebuddy’s Casual Family Dining. It was a little Hooters-esque, but I have no problem with cute girls in short shorts sexily wiping down tables. And hey, they had poutine – official drunk food of the great white north.

In a segment on the television series "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" during the 2000 American election, Rick Mercer convinced then-Governor of Texas George W. Bush that Canada's Prime Minister, Jean Chrétien, was named Jean Poutine. - Wikipedia

This was definitely one of my stranger moments in food porn. Imagine me insistently slurring, "Wait! Wait! Don't touch the poutine! I have to get my signature shot!"