Pasadena Burgers: Pie n Burger

Pie n' Burger has a lot going for it. For over 40 years the little diner has graced the corner of California and Lake. The current owner is Michael Osborn, who ate at Pie n' Burger on summer trips to visit his grandmother. He began working there in 1972 and never left. The formica counters and elderly waitresses make entering Pie n' Burger feel like a trip back in time circa Nick at Nite. Pie 'n Burger has been around so long that its diet plate of a burger patty, peach slices and cottage cheese has actually come into vogue again.





The meaty patty is nicely charred. Burgers come standard with big leaves of iceberg lettuce, pickles, and thousand island dressing, which makes for a delightfully messy handful. There is so much lettuce on it that it probably counts as a salad, but instead of being filler, the crispy iceburg makes the burger strangely refreshing. You can also order your onions grilled, which we highly recommend.



As the name suggests, pies are the star of the show here. The fruit pies are possibly the best pies in the Los Angeles area, especially the blueberry pie. The flaky crust fairly bursts with blueberries, and the slice collapses under the weight of two massive scoops of ice cream. The cream pies are topped with meringue instead of a whipped cream topping, the best of these being the banana. When olallieberry season comes around it is newsworthy.



Best of all, Chronicle Wine Cellar is inconspicuously located in the back of the parking lot. You can stop in and pick up a bottle from the friendly shopkeeper, Gus Martin, before your meal. The diner doesn't charge corkage, so you can enjoy your burger with a shiraz or zinfandel.





Old-fashioned also means no credit cards. Cash or checks only, and I think a check might be pushing it. Although once as I dug for an elusive two dollars, the cashier said, "It's ok if you don't have it." Talk about the good old days!

Fresh & Sleazy?

We used to make fun of my Canadian grandmother for coming down to the states and going on long soliloquies about the price of peas. When one of us was on a particularly impassioned rant about something dull, the rest of us would tease them by inquiring about the price of peas. But nowadays grocery shopping IS interesting.

I was so excited to see the shining new Fresh & Easy just down the street from my house. When I was in England I found the grocery stores made more sense to me, both in layout and selection. Of course it was too much to hope they could kick me down some Heinz Baked beans or Tetley Tea. But I knew they would have lots of ready-to-cook options and I haven't been cooking much.

Fresh flowers at the doorway were a good sign. Yams so spoiled that they were bursting and turning to liquid, swarming with fruit flies, was a very bad sign. They must have gone unchecked for days to that to happen. But, these things happen, and so onward. Their fresh-cut fruit was at the peak of ripeness and looked beautiful.



They had lots of what I expected to find, these little instant meals that far surpass American instants in flavor, and more Indian flavors. You can buy them already cooked or ready-to-cook.







Besides the ready-to-cook meals, and Indian flavors, there was a wider variety of dried beans and whole grains, which alone would bring me back.



There were a few other signs of British influence, like more fresh lamb. I do have to confess that some of the meats were just not the right color. The sausages and ribs I bought expired two days after I purchased them and had to be thrown away. In the market I had heard someone explaining to an upset customer, "We are a new store, so we don't have enough clientele, but the computer orders more automatically." Still, that's no excuse. Send me through that meat section and the veg with a big trash bag and problem solved.

They did kick me down one Brit giftie...English bacon!



I like the check-yourself-out kiosks because they have a little cartoon version of me showing my movements. And that version is thin and attractive. I still managed to walk out without paying in spite of the cool virtual me because I was so chatty with the employee.

I did return to pay, and I will say that I expected 4 dinners, a week of lunches, some snacks and the usual to be about 40 bucks more than it was. (I haven't deducted the meat I had to throw away.) I will return for some items, like their delicious hummus, but I'll avoid the meat aisle until they have built up a bigger clientele.

As I drove home, I was calculating the savings in my head, and tallying up my booty. In my count I realized there were frozen peas in the grocery bag. So grandma, where ever you are up there, I am carrying on the tradition.

How to Make Lollipop Flowerpots

1 sandpail

fill 1/3 way with decorative (washed) rocks

Cut out florists dry foam into shape of pail and wrap with a lot of cling wrap.

Stuff florists foam into pail, leaving about 3" at the top.

Push in pinwheel into center of the foam until it hits the rocks.

Surround with assorted lollies, especially Yummy Earth Organic Lollipops.

Fill to the top with a few inches of M&Ms, Skittles, or Jelly Bellies.



(You could try using a smaller container and use a big swirl lolly as
the center, and arrange only your lollies around the bottom. Or go
even smaller and only use little lollies and fill the flowerpot with
colored sugar)

My Search for a Low-Carb Dessert That Doesn't Remind me of Spackle

OK, so in reality, I can only get away with a few bites of all of the beautiful desserts I photograph for you. Instead I make do with no-sugar-added Fudgesicles and Jell-o Sugar-Free Chocolate Pudding Cups. So far these are the only two desserts that I don't feel the need to throw against the wall.

Usually on my birthday I go wild and actually eat cake! But this year it just wasn't in the stars, the doctors said NO. And that makes people crazy. It's like the soul can't rest until it is buried in hallowed ground or something. The immutable law of the birthday cake must be obeyed.

My mom's fallback dessert of angel food cake, strawberries and Cool-whip is actually loaded with carbs even if it is healthy, and Cool-whip horrifies me. Is it actually plastic?

So then people try cupcakes made with Splenda. I know it's Splenda. Splenda's one molecule cannot fool me. And I have come to hate Splenda in everything except for an alcoholic drink I devised that is comprised of lemon juice, vodka and Splenda shaken with ice and strained. I call it the Ex-wife. I don't know what my ex-husband calls it.

So, where was I? Dessert. No one can stand that I don't have at least a symbolic cake on my birthday. Finally my mom said, "Why don't I make some sugar-free Jell-o Gelatin and put some Cool Whip on top?"

I said, "Because that would make me cry."

So, now, I have taken it into my own hands. I have to make something edible that will make my family secure in knowing that my birthday cake need has somehow been fulfilled.

Cream cheese is always good. The crust is easy - 1/3 butter, 1/3 crushed nuts and 1/3cookies. Use sugar-free shortbread and you're done. But then came the filling. How do I make it sweet without Splenda or some other crap?

I tried using sugar-free Jello-powder. NO.

All varieties of sugar-free coffee syrups. NO NO NO

I tried all varieties of palatable sugar-free candy like peanut butter cups. NO

Then came various canned and fresh fruits, fruit toppings, jams etc. Noooooo.

I mixed it with sugar-free ice cream topping, which actually was not bad. I was unsure of the physics of actually baking it, but it gave me hope.

Thinking about Splenda drinks made me think about Agave nectar. Although it has sugar, it is supposed to have some magic properties that defy the laws of physics and make the carbs inverse. According to wiki, it just has a low glycemic index, meaning it absorbs slowly and doesn't spike your blood sugar. It is the drink ingredient of the moment among mixologists who don't even have to worry about sugar, so maybe I won't hate it.

When I started thinking about replacing a honey recipe with agave, Bob brought up the Source. Basically The Source are hippie spiritual seekers who once ran a successful restaurant in Hollywood and made delicious, delicious cheesecake. They use honey, which sounded like maybe I could substitute Agave syrup... hmmm. OK. The first one was really bad. It needed some tweaking. But the second one was good. It was really, really good.



(adapted from) THE SOURCE RESTAURANT PLAIN CHEESECAKE

16 ounces sour cream
16 ounces cream cheese, softened
3 eggs
1 cup agave syrup
1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract
1 Tablespoon Almond extract

Mix all ingredients together until it is totally smooth.

Pour into pie crust. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

CRUST:

1 cup ground walnuts
1 cup ground sugar-free shortbread cookies
1/4 cup butter

Melt butter and mix together to make a paste. Pat into place in a round 10" pan to make the crust.

Ludobites 4.0

Ludobites is a pop-up restaurant with no set location. Chef Ludo, bad boy of Iron Chef Masters with an ever-present swoon-worthy five o-clock shadow rents out diners that are only open for breakfast and lunch, enabling him to serve creative food with total freedom at a bargain price. Version 4.0 has popped up at Gram and Papa's where it will serve until May 28th.

Most of the menu rotates, but some favorites are standard. Some sample menu items are:

Scallop, Spinach, Yogurt-Curry, Spring Garlic, Violet Flowers $14
Foie Gras Black Croque Monsieur, Lemon Turnip Chutney $29
Boudin Noir Mousse, Exotic Fruit, Wasabi $12
Santa Barbara Prawn, Avocado, Cocktail Sauce $M.P.
Soft Shell Crab Cornet, Mango, Red Spicy Mayo, Corona Granite $M.P.
White Asparagus Veloute, Mozzarella Mousse, Candied Olives, Fennel, Salmon Roe $15
Rack of Lamb, Fresh Goat Cheese, Dried Bonita, Artichokes, Potato Mousseline, Mint $26
Dark Chocolate Soufflé, Saffron Ice Cream, Hot Chocolate Ganache $13
Strawberry, Macaron, Chantilly, Verbena $12



Ludo's wife, Krissy, runs the front of the house with a dazzling smile and genuine welcome. The room is small enough that you truly feel like guests rather than customers.

Every meal should start with a baguette and honey-lavender butter, followed by Brie Chantilly, Honey Comb, Balsamic, Frisee Salad. Yes, the frisee salad is a sprig of frisee, but the brie, whipped and whipped into a fluffy cloud of heaven, then reigned back in and molded into perfect into quenelles, is an entirely new sensation and one long overdue.



The “Paris” Ham Soup, Bread, Swiss Cheese, Radish, Cornichon, and Guiness is something I will be calling out for on my deathbed. The unlikely ingredients work on a ploughman's lunch, so why not in a bowl? I'll admit I questioned the radishes at first but finally succumbed to their peppery bite. Little squares of cheese-infused bread float in the soup like Lilliputian grilled cheese sandwiches. Comfort food at its best.



The steak au poivre was a little tough compared to my usual filet, but the sauce was rich, and I could have eaten an entire bowl of the silky, marrow-laden polenta. A charred smear of eggplant was eggplant concentrated down to its very soul.



The Foie Gras Pina Colada may sound surprising at first. But foie gras and fruity flavors were made for each other. The coconut ice cream and pineapple cream were flavorful without being sweet, which was intriguing. The rum gelee knocked you on your ass just like a real shot would.

Just as I took my first bite, I overheard a woman behind me say, "I may not know food, but I know what I like to put it my mouth." I choked on my food, trying not to do a spit take. Ludo called over, concerned, "Too sweet?" (Well, he is French so maybe he said "hurry" but that wouldn't make any sense).



I walked over to the counter and told him I was actually really amazed by his ability to take flavors like pineapple and coconut and rid them of their sweetness so for the first time we only taste their pure essence. I asked him what I should order, and he suggested the dreaded squid. I know from Lindsay's previous coverage his squid can be very uhhh, "rustic".

I said, "I've seen your squid. It's scary."

He replied in that smooth French accent, "nooo, eet ees not scareeeee."

When your table is right in front of the pass and the chef tells you to eat something, you eat it, so I ordered the squid carbonara. It was a stroke of genius for people watching their carbs, replacing the pasta with curls of squid. An egg yolk quivered on the dish, waiting to be pierced and ooze down. The pancetta and sage were delicious. The texture of the squid was the same as when you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek.



Which brings up an interesting question. I probably don't want to order the squid again, but I enjoyed trying something new and innovative. Maybe like art, food doesn't always have to be popular, maybe it is valuable because it moves the culinary arts to the next step. It is the future. It is the Dada of cooking.

Animal Made me Cry

So if you ever have to go to the doctor a lot, Cedar Sinai is the place to go. They are at the epicenter of good restaurants and shopping. I went shopping for a cozy duvet cover after a rough appointment (Westin's Heavenly Rest is nice, but 200 bucks. Hotel brand is more like $350 for queen size). I closed the stores down and went home empty-handed

After such a long day I thought I needed Animal's oxtail poutine. I dropped in late without a reservation, and luckily scored a table. When I placed my order and I was told they were out of poutine I was lost. My head swam. Sensing this, the server left to give me more time. It had just been such a stressy day it was the final straw. I turned my face to the wall and wept. I felt so stupid crying in public. One of the waiters came back and coddled me, which made me feel much better.

I decided to comfort myself with marrow, pig's ear and foie gras. There is really no better consolation in the world. As I opened my mouth to order Miso-cured foie, the server said, "Oh, and we're out of the Miso-cured foie." Imagine that movie shot where they pan back while sumultaneously making the camera do a close-up with me going, "Nooooooooooooooooo!"



But they had a second foie on the menu, so I decided to be a big girl and accept a minor change. I ordered the marrow and their trippy Foie Gras, Biscuit with Maple-cured Gravy. It was a dish that could go terribly wrong, but if they had the balls to serve it, I had the balls to try it.

Not only was the foie cooked to perfection, but the maple added that touch of sweetness that foie needs without being cloying. There was a spicy-hot sausage in the rich gravy that added a little spark. Then as the final coup de gras, the biscuit was the fluffiest, most heavenly biscuit I have ever tried. And I am a seeker of the perfect angel biscuit.

It was so good that when the sever asked if I would like another iced tea, I said, "Yes, and another foie gras please." It was worth it for the look in her eyes for the second before she regained her composure. I figured, what the hell, why not live like it's my last week because you just never know.



Normally marrow is almost liquified with a thin fatty skin on it. Their marrow was like custard through and through. The use of Chimichurri instad of the standard parsley was a stroke of genius.



The crab's legs were fresh and doused with melted butter that had been spiked with chili. A harbinger of the fire to come.



Pig's ear with chili and lime was topped with a fried egg. I was curious to see if the ear would be chewy like in Paris, or gelatinous like in Monterey Park. It was neither. It was more like shredded beef jerky, with a fatty carnitas-style fry. It was extremely fiery and I would prefer it as a bar snack with a cold beer.



I learned my lesson. Always make a reservation at Animal. Don't slip in as they are closing or they will run out of dishes. (And although Heavenly Rest is all-white and rarely on sale, Hotel Brand changes styles every season and can be bought on clearance for 100 bucks at Macy's).

Liver Worst: Not Exactly Dinner Conversation

I have recovered repressed memories in therapy of gagging on powdery, mealy shoesoles of liver. There are rubber eraser bits that coat your mouth and won't ever come off, ever, no matter how hard you try! Excuse me, I have to speed-dial my shrink.

We ate a lot of liver growing up, because it was inexpensive, it was one thing my parents could agree upon, and because of Eschbach's Meat Market. Eschbachs was a fantastic old-fashioned German market in Gardena that allowed me to grow up with a wonderland of sausages. But Eschbach's sold calves liver at 10 months old, which to my farmer mom was the perfect liver.



Luckily there were five of us kids, so we had a complex under-the-table trade going on. Roddie and Greg ate all the liver, Russell ate the broccoli and cauliflower, and Glen and I ate the remaining vegetables and fish.

When The Grill at Hollywood and Highland invited us to try their Liver Lover's Extravaganza, I agreed under one condition -- that my mother accompany me. Let's just say we had a score to settle.

The Grill on the Alley opened in Beverly Hills in 1984 and has since expanded to four locations in California as well as in three other states. The Grill at Hollywood and Highland is the fourth "The Grill", opened in 2001. In spite of being located in a giant outdoor mall in the heart of touristy Hollywood, the warm tones and rich leathers make an elegant white tablecloth steakhouse. I can't help but imagine what a nice place this would be for a business dinner.





The evening started off innocuously enough with some lovely doots -- crab cakes chock full of crabmeat, adorable little caprese skewers with tomatoes that exploded on the tongue, fresh ahi and avocado chips and thinly sliced salmon (OK, gravlaax). There was a mix-your-own martini bar with a choice of straight up vodka ("The CEO"), grapefruit, or blood orange martinis. Some bartenders would argue that the fruit drinks were actually cocktails, not "martinis". Nonetheless, the blood orange martini-slash-cocktail was delicious, so cold, freshly swirled with ice.



We were seated near some fun bloggers. Eddie asked me what the tape recorder was for.

"Because my mom says some really funny things and I want to catch them on tape."

He addressed my mom, "What do you say that's funny?"

She shrugged in an exaggerated way, 'I don't understand it! I don't think I'm funny at all!"

"Now, see, that was funny."

The starter was a light salad of endive, radicchio and romaine with bleu cheese and pecans. The bleu cheese was mellow and delicious, unlike the overwhelming bleu cheeses that used to be ubiquitous.



The calves liver was farmed in Pennsylvania and served at 6 to 7 months old (my mom shakes her head at me and holds up 10 fingers, disagreeing with the chef). According to the chef, "We have been serving liver at The Grill since, well, since we opened, and we actually do it quite well. Its actually one of our signature dishes. We sold anywhere between 20 and 25 livers a day, you get six to seven orders out of a liver." He went on to expound on the protein, B vitamins and other benefits of eating liver.



The liver was served either old-school style with bacon and onions, or with a Bordelaise sauce. When the plates arrived, we were all surprised by the hearty portions. It was more like pork loin, both in appearance and texture. The creamy, yet beefy meat had none of the powdery pencil eraser graininess or leatheriness of the liver we grew up with. If not for that unmistakable taste of organ, it might be hard to identify blindfolded.

Unfortunately, even covered in Bordelaise, it still tasted like liver, so I just "fake ate" it, cutting it up and pushing it around my plate. Accompaniments included a giant stalk of broccoli (is my mom actually snickering at me behind her napkin?). Other sides were brought out for us to test -- mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, and my favorite, braised whole mushrooms.



My mom however, stuck stubbornly and faithfully with the liver and bacon.

"And how would you like that cooked, ma'am?"

"Overdone."

The desserts, which we all shared, were mind-blowing. The brownie pie coated in both chocolate and caramel sauce and studded with candied peanuts was tough competition alongside a traditional strawberry shortcake.



The shortcake was properly laquered with a sweet coating outside and a crumbly inside. The strawberries were intensely sweet. But they were no match for the Key Lime Pie, rich, creamy, and puckering with lime zest.

This is definitely a meal for grown-ups. If you are mature and can handle your meat, this is the special for you. Apparently I'm still an 8-year old.




Random soundbites from the tape:


Eddie: Can't you think of any other word to describe it than liver-y?

Me: No. No, I can't. Thats why my blogs are so photo heavy.


My Mom: (gesturing to Eddie): If he had come to Easter dinner, he would have eaten my cabbage rolls

Me: Mom, I ate the cabbage rolls

Mom: You don't eat cabbage.

Me: Roddie doesn't eat cabbage.

Mom (eyes me suspiciously)

Me: Mom, I don't eat liver. Roddie doesn't eat vegetables. Eamonn doesn't eat celery. Glen doesn't eat mushrooms.

Mom: Well, I knew somebody didn't eat something.


Blogger: I heard that you die if you eat a polar bear liver

Another blogger: You'd probably die if you tried to eat a polar bear liver.


Me: So, what did your daughter's placenta taste like? Do we really taste like pork?

Eddie: Actually, it's more like beef

Me: Because I have to have a hysterectomy, and you could have my uterus if you want it.

Eddie: I would treat your uterus with the utmost respect.

Me: I eat so much fat, it's probably like foie gras. And I'm diabetic, so I bet it's sweet too.

Eddie: Now you're just teasing me.


Me, calling over a plate-laden server, "Come here, you photo, op, you!"