Where to Eat at Coachella

Don't even bother trying to slip that contraband jar of peanut butter into your backpack. Outside food and drinks are prohibited at Coachella.
And the options at the cash-only food tents tend to be pretty limited. That doesn’t mean you have to spend three days surviving only on kettle corn and ecstacy. The Coachella Valley is home to some excellent eats. If you do manage to escape the festival, here are some places to go take a breather and regain your strength:


WHERE TO EAT ON THE WAY THERE :

THE WHEEL INN

The Wheel Inn in Cabazon has always been easy to find because of Claude Bell’s giant dinosaurs, which are barely visible from the highway these days. There is something slightly surreal about the Wheel Inn. Something even beyond the riotous decor, 1960's glowing orb lights and overwhelming profusion of steer horns. But the hostess and waitresses are welcoming and friendly (even in their new Flintstones-inspired uniforms). The breakfasts and burgers are the best in town. Some of the food, like the turkey dinner, can be a little too cafeteria-ish. But the chicken fried steak and peanut-butter pie will make you change your name to Bubba. Buy a trucker CD in the gift shop next door to listen to for the rest of the drive.

50900 Seminole Drive, Cabazon, CA 92230 (951) 849-7012
Open 24-hours.

SPANKY'S CHICKS & RIBS BBQ

Right next door to the Wheel Inn, the big smoking BBQ out back might draw you over. The employees are all perky, wholesome teen girls, which is somehow comforting. The owners may be from New York City, but they can do Texas 'que with the best of them. The brisket is moist and tender, slathered in a sweet BBQ sauce, and the rib-tips fall right off the bone.

50920 Seminole Road, Cabazon, CA 92230 (951) 922-3999
Open 12noon - 9pm. Closed Mondays and Tuesdays.

FARMER BOY'S

Farmer Boy’s off the Milliken exit in Ontario is just one of a chain of fast-food joints with gigantic, juicy burgers and huge wheels of onion rings. The explosion of country charm is a bit much for me. But I have been a little freaked out by small towns ever since I saw 200 Maniacs.

54 S. Milliken Ave., Ontario, CA 91761 (909) 390-7160


WHERE TO EAT WITH THE A&R GUY:


CUISTOT

Cuistot feels like a restaurant that was just plucked out of the French countryside and dropped right into the middle of the desert. Service is friendly and the sommelier is the best in town. Ask him if they have anything from the Westley winery in Oregon. Heck, ask him to bring the whole bottle. Start with the foie gras with caramelized apples, then order the short ribs, beef chops, or rabbit, all served in intense wine reductions. Go nuts - it’s on the record company’s dime, right?

73-111 El Paseo, Palm Desert CA 92260 (760) 340-1000
Open for lunch 11:30am - 2:30pm. Open for dinner 6pm - 9:30pm

LG’s PRIME STEAKHOUSE

From the moment you enter their ceiling-high wooden doors, you are transported into a world of old-school charm. The servers are solicitous yet unobtrusive. Sink into a giant, padded booth, order an aged filet and find out why LG’s is in the Top Ten Hall of Fame of Steakhouses.

Palm Springs: 255 South Palm Canyon, Palm Springs 92292 (760) 416-1779
Dinner only. 5pm -9:45pm
La Quinta: 78525 Highway 111, Suite 100 La Quinta, CA 92253 (760) 771-9911
Dinner only 5:30pm - 9:45pm
Palm Desert: 74-225 Highway 111, Palm Desert, CA 92260 (760) 779-9799Dinner only 5:30pm – 9:45pm

LE VALLAURIS

This is the ultimate romantic restaurant, with a magical patio filled with twinkling lights. High prices and occasionally snobby waiters make me hesitant to recommend it, but the ambiance and the food may be worth it. Some dishes are a little too experimental. Stick with the roasted meats and crème brulee. Located in a residential area just off the main drag, it can be a little hard to spot. Watch for the twinkling lights on your left.

385 West Tahquitz Canyon Way, Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 325-7602
Lunch 11:30am – 2:30pm Dinner 5pm – 10pm


WHERE TO EAT WHILE YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE ROYALTY CHECK TO COME IN:


TYLER'S BURGERS

Located in the center of the Palm shopping center, the bustling, cheerful buzz of Tyler’s immediately puts you at ease. Cooks flip burgers, customers shout orders, and the milkshake machine whirrs away happily. The burgers are thick and juicy, and you can order them topped with grilled onions. Go for two sliders instead of one burger. They are thicker. And cuter. Try their famous coleslaw instead of the fries. After all that partying, you can probably use the Vitamin C.

149 S. Indian Canyon Dr. Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 325-2990
Lunch only. Closed Sundays.

CRAZY BONES

They do Memphis, Texas, and St Louis-style BBQ, among others. The restaurant is one of several owned by the Kaiser family so it's kind of corporate. Crazy Bone’s dining room and patio are spacious and comfortable, teetering between casual and elegant. The catfish fingers and shrimp po’boy are straight out of New Orleans. The St Louis ribs, which are like giant baby backs, blow the rest of the BBQ dishes away.

262 South Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 325-5200
Dinner only starting at 5pm.

SHERMAN'S DELI

Voted the #1 deli in the Coachella Valley, Sherman’s is known for its breakfasts and old-fashioned Jewish deli food. For breakfast, try one of the omelets, which are served unfolded, pancake-style. For lunch, a sandwich piled high with pastrami or corned beef will give you the protein boost you need to rock out for the rest of the day.

Palm Springs: 401 East Tahquitz Canyon Way Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 325-1199
Palm Desert: 73-161 Country Club Dr. Monterrey, CA 92262 (760) 568-1350
Both locations Open 7am – 7pm


WHERE TO EAT IF ALL OF THESE PICTURES OF MEAT ARE TOTALLY FREAKING YOU OUT:

NATIVE FOODS

Serving a variety of vegan and vegetarian pizzas, rice bowls, snacks, and desserts, Native Foods is appealing as well as environmentally friendly. The "Handhelds" look especially exciting, with whimsical names like "Mad Cowboy", "Rockin' Moroccan", and "Hail Seitan" (OK, I made that last one up).

Palm Springs: Smoke Tree Village 1775 E. Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 92264 (760) 416-0070
11am - 9:30pm. Closed Sundays.
Palm Desert: 73-890 El Paseo
Palm Desert, CA 92260 (760) 836-939611am - 9:30pm. Closed Sundays.

Colombian Gold

Sick of sushi? Tired of Thai? Want to impress your friends by turning them on to an exciting new cuisine? Try a little Colombian! La Maria Restaurant on Victory Boulevard in North Hollywood is one of those little holes-in-the-wall that foodies dream about - undiscovered and unspoiled, with reasonable prices and an experienced chef. Chef Antonio Prado worked in such Los Angeles favorites as Hugo’s and Joan’s on Third before opening La Maria. The food is just familiar enough to be comforting, but just unusual enough to keep things exciting. The menu is half Caribbean-influenced Colombian and half “Cuisine of the Americas”, which are Mexican-inspired dishes. The room is small and cozy, with a large mural on one wall. It is designed to feel as if you are in a little town square. There are game boards under the glass on the table, like Colombian Monopoly (You have angered the Medellin cartel. Move back 8 squares, very slowly, then change your name).

We started with the empanadas and tamales de elote. The empanadas were puffy without being greasy. The heavily spiced shredded beef was a nice change from the anticipated ground beef filling. The tamale de elote wasn’t too sweet, as corn tamales can sometimes be. Little threads of saffron ran through the masa.

For main dishes, we ordered the picada and sobrebarriga. The picada is definitely a trip. It is a good thing to order if you are a curious diner, and want to try a little bit of everything. Even the “mini” size is more than one person can eat. Bits of steak, chorizo, blood sausage, new potatoes, deep-fried yucca, fried plaintain chips, chiccharones and arepa are all just tossed together on the plate without any sauce or rice to bind them. The blood sausage was crumbly with bits of rice and reminded me of haggis. Torn bits of arepa, which is similar to a thick corn tortilla, were strewn around the dish. The sobrebarriga is like a Colombian pot roast in a mild sauce, warm and nurturing, like something your mother would serve.

Some of the desserts are a walk on the wild side. Natilla con Arequipe (translated as “Milk Skin with Colombian Sweet”), turned out to be an evaporated milk-based dessert with bits of coconut that reminded me of Indian sweets. The “Columbian sweet” was dulce de leche. It was interesting, but I would probably go with the safer flan or rice pudding next time. Because there will definitely be a next time.

La Maria 10516 Victory Blvd. North Hollywood, CA 91606 (818) 755-8811

I Like Pies

My blog is starting to get listed on other sites, and even getting nominated for an award (Thanks!!!). So I am occasionally being asked to describe what this blog is like. To answer that question, I have devised this handy pie chart:

La Super Rica - Redux

We woke up Sunday morning to a breakfast of leftover steak and freshly-laid eggs, courtesy of Johnny. Actually, the eggs were courtesy of the hens, Original Recipe and Extra Crispy. After breakfast, Johnny went outside to the BBQ and started cursing, "Oh no! I burnt the goat! I wanted to surprise you!" So, no cabrito for breakfast. I'm game to try goat, but I'm not sure if breakfast is the meal for that.

We hit the San Luis Obispo swap meet, where I bought:

Soul on Ice by Eldridge Cleaver

The Man who Shorted out the Electric Chair

Aretha Franklin: This Girl's in Love with You

and

Milt Jackson: Bag's Bag

Then we headed down the coast, with plans to meet friends for lunch in Ventura. But as we neared Santa Barbara, the siren song of La Super Rica was calling. The other Roguefooders had mentioned they were stopping there for lunch, but I assumed they would be long gone by then. Still, I could not resist the memory of the Tacos de Hongo. We pulled up to La Super Rica, and this time there was definitely a line. While I waited, Bob went to snag us a table.

I was saddened to discover that Tacos de Hongo are only available on Friday. Curses! Why can't it be Friday every day? I comforted myself with their Sunday special - posole. As I brought the drinks over to Bob, who did I see, but Patti! Jeff! Ed! What timing! We all ended up at the same place. Ed encouraged me to try his chorizo tacos, which really opened my eyes to the wonders of chorizo. I had not been a big fan before, but this was really good. Good enough for me to order next time. Beneath the garnishes in the posole lay huge chunks of pork and hominy in a rich, spicy broth.

Bob had ordered the #4 marinated pork tacos again, and once again they did not disappoint.

I had also ordered another daily special for us to split - shredded beef tacos in a chile cream sauce. They were almost like upscale taquitos. The corn tortillas were lightly fried, and the cream sauce was like a richer version of guacamole.

We stopped off at Taqueria Vallarta in Ventura on the way home as planned to meet up with our friends. But we were too full for anything but their refreshing watermelon drinks. They just fill a blender with perfectly ripe watermelon, a little sugar, and blend away. It is one of the most refreshing drinks in the world. Even though they have a menu full of other fruits, the watermelon is the one that always makes us come back. Unfortunately, we will no longer be back to Taquerita Vallarta for lunch. From now on I will happily drive that extra hour to get to La Super Rica, especially on a Friday.

The Magical Land of Nipomo

Here are a few more pictures from the trip that I really liked:

The First Thing You Learn is You Always Gotta Wait

Jocko's, a Nipomo institution since the 50s, is nestled between a picturesque chapel and a building that looks so much like a little red schoolhouse that I felt like we were wandering around in a model train village. Even with a reservation, the wait for a table averages between an hour to two hours on weekends. The best way to handle this is by hanging out in their historic bar. The building is reputed to have been a saloon in the 1890s. A long, sparkling clean mirror runs the length of the bar, and hunting trophies line the walls. Order appetizers right away and pretend that you have just come to hang out in the bar with your friends. If you think too much about when your name will finally be called, you will drive yourself insane. My brother, Johnny, who is a local, warns that Albert makes extremely strong drinks. It is so common for people to get unexpectedly wasted while waiting for a table, they call it "getting Albertized". Jocko's will also throw you out if you ask for A-1 steak sauce. I asked Johnny if he had andy more tips, and he said, "Yeah. Watch out for Albert."

Albert was not working last Saturday night when we met up with the Roguefood crew for dinner, so we were safe. It didn't occur to me to order appetizers until we had been there for awhile, so everyone was getting a little restless. You have to stand at the ready to grab a table or barstool the minute it is vacated. It can get pretty cut-throat.

Not a moment too soon, our table was ready. We were all charmed by Jocko's mascot which adorned the placemats and stickers - a cow with a naughty little secret. What kind of secret could this cow be hiding? Just as we were settling in, our appetizers arrived. The jalapeno poppers and fried mushrooms were standard bar fare, but the linguisa, barbecued to juicy perfection, was a thing of beauty. There was a nice relish tray on the table. The salads were your basic steakhouse salads. But they were just stalling for time. We were ready for some of the meat we had been eying on that giant grill.

The specialty of the house is the Spencer steak, which is a ribeye. Almost everyone at our table ordered that. Ed ordered the lamb shanks, and Rene, who was still feeling peckish, ordered ravioli from the Italian section of the menu. When the steaks arrived, everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed over their plates. The meats are all cooked over red oak on a Santa Maria BBQ grill, which Jocko's only fires up at dinnertime. Ed's lamb was expertly cooked, and delicious, but definitely had that lamb-y gaminess. All of the steaks are perfectly juicy, and nicely charred with just a hint of smoke. Central California has a number of cattle ranches, so I assume Jocko's must have a good relationship with a one to get such quality meats. My filet mignon was insane - about 4 to 5 inches thick, and one of the most tender filets I have ever had. Landmark 77 in Ventura may have to give up the title of "greatest steak in the world". I'll admit my picture of the filet is a little CSI, but really, look how thick it is.

I had to try Rene's ravioli, and was pleasantly surprised. Amazed even. You would expect something like that to be an afterthought, something thrown on the menu for the vegetarians, kids, and picky eaters. But it was better than in the finest Italian restaurant. The light pillows of cheese were flavorful, not lazily stuffed with plain ricotta, and the sauce was meaty and intensely seasoned. I encouraged everyone at the table to try some. They all reacted the same way, "Are you crazy? I should mess up my tastebuds with ravioli when I am dining on the greatest steak in the entire world?" But I insisted, and they were all amazed and delighted by the fantastic ravioli.

I barely put a dent in my steak, and asked for a doggie bag. I excused myself to powder my nose, and when I returned everyone had a little dish of ice cream in front of them, which came with the meal. I was surprised by the variety...chocolate, pistachio, spumoni...I asked the table, "How many flavors do they have?" To which they replied in unison, "All of them." I picked up my spoon, and everyone asked, "Aren't you going to take a picture?" Come on, it was just a dish of ice cream. But I gave in. OK, somehow photographing the food had become de rigeur and I could not eat anything until it had been properly documented. I had made my bed of crazy, and now I had to lie in it. I snapped a pic, and ate a few half-hearted spoonfuls of the melting chocolate ice cream.







Jocko's 125 North Thompson Avenue, Nipomo CA 93444 (805) 929-3565 Reservations required!

Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

Saturday morning I woke up around 6am and went to the Nipomo swap meet with Johnny and Rene. In addition to scoring a set of fantastic 1970s beefcake playing cards and an album of creepy, turn-of-the-century photographs, I was able to check out some really cool installation art.

The swap meet land is owned by a doctor who has made a hobby out of decorating the place with scrap metal art and setting up a giant model train village. Rene wanted to show me the outer space installation that runs Star Wars movies on a little television screen in the wall. As we tripped on the milk crate "stairs" Johnny admitted, "It probably doesn't meet OSHA standards." We had Pastor tacos for breakfast from one of the many vendors. I order mine "con todo", in which "everything" usually means salsa, onions, and copious amounts of cilantro. The swap meet even had a truck selling Filipino food. I was sad that we were going to miss what promised to be a very surreal puppet show beside the Filipino lunch wagon, but we had a group of people waiting for us.

We picked up Bob, and discovered that one of Johnny's egg-laying Rhode Island Reds, Original Recipe, had gotten out. We had to wait for Johnny to catch it before we could meet the crew from Roguefood.com, one of the food forums in which I participate. We found Ed, Steve, Patti, and her husband Jeff waiting for us in the lobby of the Santa Maria Inn. I was pleased because I got to say, "Sorry we were late. One of the chickens got out." A friend of the family once told Johnny, "You know how I can tell you're a hillbilly? You have a chicken on the table and it's not dead yet."

Our plan for the day was to cruise along the main street, sampling BBQ from the many vendors that set up in parking lots on the weekends. Santa Maria's local specialty is barbecued tri-tip, cooked over oak. The meat is grilled on huge, specially designed barbecue wagons that are towed behind trucks on trailer hitches. The large grills hang directly over the open flames. The grills can be raised and lowered by cranking a large wheel, which enables you to control the heat.

As we caravaned down the road, we noticed a strange lack of BBQ wagons. It was like a ghost town. Ed was completely baffled. There was no tri-tip anywhere. We thought it might be due to the overcast weather. Or maybe the rapture. So we headed over to the annual IFOPA fundraiser, which was set up in a grocery store parking lot. The case of the missing BBQ wagons was solved. Over thirty local vendors had volunteered their time and barbecue grills to raise money on behalf of a local charity. Hundreds of split chickens smoked and sizzled on dozens of barbecue grills. Plumes of smoke filled the air, making the parking lot look like a battlefield in an old war movie. One grill was dedicated to toasting up French bread, and we drooled as we watched one of the volunteers dunk the halved loaves in melted butter and garlic. Rene and I caught ourselves staring and realized we were watching him like he was a stripper, "Yeah, baby! Dunk it!"

Most of their business was drive-up, and traffic was disrupted around the block as volunteers hurriedly handed chickens through car windows. We sat down at one of the empty picnic tables, and shared lunches since they were so large. Steve went to pick up a drumstick and pulled out only a bone, which had slid right out of the chicken. He said, "You call that meat tender?" The chicken was moist, and smoked right through. There was a nice rub on it with plenty of flavor but no heat. Probably a lot of paprika and garlic salt. The garlic bread was alright, and the pink Santa-Maria style beans were bland, as they are supposed to be.

Since all of the rogue tri-tip experts in town were busy making chicken, we headed over to Johnny's recommendation, Rancho Nipomo. It is conveniently attached to the Santa Maria Brewing Company, our next stop. Recently opened by husband and wife team, Richard and Brenda Cowell, Rancho Nipomo serves both barbecue and Mexican dishes. It advertises its special menu as "A taste of California". It is known amongst locals for its pulled pork sandwiches. So all of us were looking for barbecue. But Richard is extremely proud of his chile dishes, made with his own home-grown chiles. When he started pushing the chile verde, I asked him if he had a combo plate. He said, "No. But I've been thinking about it. I tell you what I'm going to do for you."

He lowered his voice, and we put our heads together conspiratorially.

He started describing his food in whispered detail, using subtle hand gestures like a French waiter, "OK, I'm going to make you a plate of the pork ribs and I recommend you get the small pork sandwich. Then I'm going to make you a little plate of chile colorado and chile verde, with our homemade flour tortillas. Then you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to give you my wife's special potato salad." He ended with a flourish, the spell was broken, and I stepped away from the counter.

Johnny and Bob returned from scouting out the brewery. They suggested we get our food to go and eat it on the patio. Although Rancho Nipomo had beer and a patio as well, it was not the Santa Maria Brewery's home brews. I was perusing the variety of sodas in the drink cooler (They had Mexican coca-cola made with cane sugar!), and goofing around with Patti when I noticed Bob standing at the counter ordering. I called over, "I already ordered for you!" He looked so crestfallen, I just said, "Never mind." So we ended up with a huge plate of ribs and two pulled pork sandwiches.

The owner, Richard, produced the sampler plate and we all gathered around, taking little bites. The pork chile verde was good, the tortilla was excellent, but the beef chile colorado kicked ass! There were layers of flavors, deep and complex, smoky and spicy...pure heaven.

By then, everyone's food was ready and we walked next door to The Santa Maria Brewing Company's patio where we found Ed worrying over Steve, who had just eaten the roasted jalapeno "garnish" on his plate and was in fits. Johnny immediately grabbed another jalapeno off of Steve's plate and chomped on it (See: "boy's pissing contests" in the previous post). Johnny agreed it was the hottest jalapeno he had ever tried, which was pretty impressive because Johnny grows prize-winning jalapenos. He also grows "ornamental" peppers that have almost put Bob in the emergency room.

The ribs were falling-off-the-bone tender and slathered in a sweet "16-spices" BBQ sauce. I was really interested in the pulled pork sandwich, topped with the traditional BBQ sauce and cole slaw. It was huge, and I was barely half-way through it before I remembered I had ordered the "Baby" sandwich. I asked Patti and Jeff about their sandwiches. Their full-sized sandwich filled an entire take-out carton. Instead of a hamburger bun, it was served on "teleta" bread, which is Spanish for "bigger than your head". The moist tri-tip sandwich, which contains a mountain of meat, was also served on the football-sized teleta bread. The potato salad was indeed a special recipe. Large chunks of potato were accompanied by bits of black olive and chunks of real dill pickle. It was damn good.

Just off the junction of the 101 and the166, Rancho Nipomo would be a convenient lunch stop when traveling down the coast. I will definitely be back for that chile colorado, and to try the Baja street-style hot dog ("Grilled all-beef frank wrapped with bacon, garnished with mustard, pickle, and grilled onions") and the tri-tip enchiladas.

The Santa Maria Brewing Company, which is in the same building as Rancho Nipomo, is owned and operated by Dan Hilker, a retired policeman. It is a labor of love. His hours are flexible, depending on his mood. These are the posted hours:

Wednesday and Thursday 4:00 PM till Approx. 9 PM, Friday 3:00 PM till about 10 PM Saturday and Sunday 12 PM - till about 8 PM

All of the beers are brewed by Dan himself. Don't ask for a Budweiser if you don't want to be kicked out on your ass. The decor is early Fred Sanford, a result of Dan trading beer to customers for random interesting items they bring in, 'That's worth about six beers. I'll take it." A bomb my brother brought in hangs from the ceiling. I have never asked Johnny if it is a real bomb, and it's probably better that I don't know. When we arrived with our take-out containers, the room was cool and dark, with just a few guys hanging out on the barstools. The back patio is bright and comfortable, but pretty dusty in the daylight. The only restroom I saw was a port-a-potty, so it may not be somewhere I want to do too much drinking. It's definitely a man's man's place.

I walked back inside to get a beer, and noticed all of the tap handles, which usually advertise the brand, had clay character's heads on them, or just random figures. I asked, "What do you have on draft? Pilot? Baseball player? Girl in a bikini?" Dan looked at me, sizing me up the way cops do when they are trying to decide if you are carrying a loaded weapon or under the influence of angel dust. He asked about my beer preferences, and recommended the India pale ale if I wanted "something like nothing you have ever tried before". I walked out back to the group on the patio with my Pilsner glass. Everyone else had pint glasses. Steve asked, "How come you got the cool glass?" (Because the bartender wanted to remember which one he spit in?)

The ale was interesting, with an undercurrent of indistinguishable spicy flavors. But the overall effect was not overwhelming. There is nothing worse than some weird novelty beer like pumpkin ale that only tastes like cinnamon. The spices were barely there, and the hops were strong enough to dominate. I also wanted to try the hefeweizen, and the blonde, but I had already gone on a political rant about the state of our social services after only one glass of ale, so I thought it was probably best to slow down. The rest of the crew headed off for wine tasting, and we returned to Johnny's to take a nap before dinner.

Rancho Nipomo 108 Cuyama Lane Nipomo CA 93444 (805) 925-3500

Santa Maria Brewing Company 112 Cuyama Lane Nipomo, CA 93444

http://www.santamariatimes.com/articles/2006/11/03/lifestyle/life54.txt

Annual "Find a Cure" Chicken Fundraiser http://www.ifopa.org/